Queen Victoria's Birthday

It looks like I'm going to be rummaging around in Nestor's mailbag some more. I actually found one of his little missives that is aimed at the idea behind this May long weekend. As usual, he calls a spade a spade and sets it right, according to his own self. Here it is:

Monarchist League

Dear League;

It’s me, Nestor! How ‘bout that? It’s Queenie’s birthday again. Hoy boys, she gonna be hundred eighty-six years old – only been dead for hundred-four. That’s what I writing about. Gonna be lots o’ noise and banging drums and firecrackers. You think Queenie gonna ‘preciate that? She old and tired. I bet you five rubles you stick head in Queenie’s tomb, she not gonna say thank you for party. Maybe she tell you, ‘We not amuse’ and slam door in face. No, no, we gotta have respect for Elders.

Let me give you little bit friendly advice. Don’t worry, it’s free – no red tape attached. You should have birthday party for new Queen. Well, she not so new, but at least she still breathing. She got hands full with spoiled brat kids and could use a break. Would be good to write nice letter to pay respects to old Queenie, send flowers to new Queenie and nice big cake for spoiled brat kids. Well, you know what they say, ‘Let them eat cake!’ After that you forget about whole business, go to lake and have own party, firecrackers and everything.

You see, was easy to take care of all royal business including royal sayings. You still pay respect and don’t wake up Queen Victoria no more and still have same long weekend. Everything gonna be hunky dory.

No need to say thank you for advice. I glad to share. I got lots o’ ideas for snot nose royal grandchildren too. You should drop by my balcony for some nice ham sausage and a glass tea. Way up high on balcony - we call that high tea. That’s just little royal joke.

Your pal,

Nestor Kropatnik PF (Retire)