This journal, submitted to us by a Dr. A.M. Biguous, was found at the Rankin Inlet medical station, apparently left behind by a patient who cannot be named because of doctor –patient confidentiality protocol. It is posted here in hope that its owner will claim it. If not; at least we’ve done our civic duty.
Rankin Inlet Journal
NOVEMBER 1, 2007 - MARCH 12, 2008
Our Winter Wonderland Experience at Rankin Inlet, Nunavut
Nov. 2: 6:00 p.m.
It was snowing when we arrived. April, Christine and I with our glass of wine sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses painting. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I LOVE SNOW!
Nov.3
We woke up to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Coming here was the best thing we’ve ever done. Shoveled for the first time and felt totally invigorated. I did the driveway even though we don’t have a car, and the sidewalk all the way down the street. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I’ve got to shovel again. WHAT A PERFECT LIFE!
Nov.6
The sun melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry; we’ll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be a terrible disappointment. Martin says we’ll have so much snow by the end of the winter that I’ll never want to see snow again. I don’t think that’s possible. Martin is such a nice man. I’m glad he’s our neighbor.
Nov.10
Snow, lovely snow! 20 cm last night. The temperature dropped to minus 40 Celsius. The cold makes everything sparkle. The 30-km/hr wind took my breath away but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. THIS IS THE LIFE! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn’t huff and puff so much.
Nov.12
50 cm forecast. Bought three pairs of snowshoes and two more snow shovels, one for Christine and the other for April. Alice sent us by greyhound bus, a fur coat, extra heavy parkas, scarves etc. We stocked the freezer. Christine insists I cut down some trees at the edge of town and drag them back on the sled for firewood in case the electricity goes out. I think that’s silly. After all we’re not at the North Pole.
Nov.14
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway while putting down salt. Hurt like blazes. Christine and April laughed for an hour. I think that was very cruel.
Nov.15
Still 40 degrees below zero. Roads and sidewalks are now too icy to even walk on. Electricity was off for five hours. I had to pile on five layers of blankets to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at Christine and April and try not to irritate them. Guess I should have bought a wood stove for the firewood I lugged home but I won’t talk about it. God I hate it when she’s right. I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room!
Nov.16
Electricity is back on but had another 50 cm of that damn stuff came down last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they all said they’re too busy playing hockey. I think they are lying. Called the only hardware store in town to see about buying a snow blower. They were sold out but might have another shipment come in March 15. I think they’re lying. Martin says I have to shovel or the town will have it done and bill me. I think he’s lying.
Nov. 25
Martin is right about a white Christmas because another 30 cm of the white shit fell today and it’s now so cold it probably won’t melt before August. Took me 45 minutes to get dressed warm enough to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Martin who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter but he said he is too busy, I think the asshole is lying.
Dec. 1
Only 10 cm of snow today and it warmed up to minus 30. Christine wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she - nuts? Why didn’t she tell me that three weeks ago on the day it warmed up to minus 25? She says she did but I think she’s damn well lying.
Dec. 24
Snow is packed so hard by the snowplow I broke the shovel. I thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the sneaky weasel who drives that snowplow, I’ll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street at 120 km/hr. and throws snow all over where I’ve just been! Tonight Christine wanted me to sing Christmas Carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for that goddamn snowplow.
Dec. 25
Merry Christmas. 50 cm more of the rotten white slop tonight. SNOWED IN. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. GOD I HATE THE SNOW! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. Christine says I have a bad attitude. I think she’s an idiot. If I have to watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” one more time, I’ll kill her.
Dec. 29
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever come to this mean-spirited wilderness? It was all Christine’s and her parent’s idea. They are all really getting on my nerves.
Jan. 15, 2008
Temperature dropped to 70 below with the wind chill. All the pipes froze.
Jan. 27
Warmed up to minus 50. Still snowed in. That bleepin wife of mine is driving me crazy!!!!
Feb. 4
25 more cm of that freakin white stuff. Martin says if I don’t shovel the snow off the roof it will cave in. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
Feb. 20
Roof caved in. The snowplow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head, Christine and April flew back to Winnipeg a couple of days ago and 20 cm more of snow is predicted.
Mar. 11
Set fire to what is left of the house. NO MORE SHOVELLING!
Mar. 12
I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. WHY AM I TIED TO THE BED?
